The best things to learn about

The fountain of knowledge is as wide as it is deep; from the history of the foods we eat, to the edges of the cosmos, there is no limit as to what man can learn. But he has one lifetime, and therefore cannot learn it all. So then, that begs one question (among others), what are the most important things he should learn?

When looking at the vast expanse of what is to be discovered, compared to what one already knows, Einstein’s words never seemed truer when he said, “The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.” It can be both exciting and exhausting to consider the depths and variety of subject matter. However, what interests one person, may bore another; and what one considers fundamental, another may consider superfluous.

Experience, interest, opportunity, ability, and the like will no doubt influence where one’s interest lie; not the least of these is desire. It is my intent to satisfy the subject in question and to provide answers that are near universal in practice without regards to employment, economic status, religious and/or political belief. The underlying pretext to all of these answers is to provide for a more fulfilling and enriching life; chiefly in regards to learning, relationships and personal well-being.

I would like to remind the reader that I’m 23 and not known for any particular achievement. It is strongly recommended to consider the following with an open mind, remembering that the following is the opinion of one man. Furthermore, the question in review should be considered subjective in nature and it would be prudent for the reader to form his/her own opinion of such — in that such an answer would point the reader into a more direct route to learning, well-being and happiness than that of a distant, uninterested, third party. The following answers are in no particular order of significance:

Learn how to ask good questions

It may seem trite, but questions are the start of knowledge. Too many people do not ask of themselves or of the world questions, being either too timid or too afraid of the response. Or, they ask questions, but only to confirm their pre-existing beliefs. Questions are not meant to cross-examine life, nor were they meant to bring fear and anxiety into the mind or heart.

Nothing was ever achieved, discovered, or experienced by someone looking up at the nighttime stars and saying, “Yeah, I already know what’s out there.” Good questions arise from a state of ignorance and humility. Which implies that by knowing the answer world-views, opinions, thought processes, lifestyles and other time consuming investments may need to be altered, amended or eradicated. Even the thought of such change often arouses fear. Better off with the known enemy known than the unknown it’s been said. But that is why we should questions, to familiarize ourselves with the unknown.

Questions are powerful tools, and the efficacy will vary from case to case. However, consider the outcome if the answers to the following questions were known with certainty regarding one’s life, career or personal relationship:

• How satisfied am I in my present situation?
• Who is responsible for the way things are?
• What should be done about it?
• When will (if any) possible changes be seen?
• Where will the impact be most recognized?
• Why should we keep things the way they are?
• Why shouldn’t we keep things the way they are?
• How will this affect me and others around me?

Or in one’s learning:

• How could I put what I learned in my own words?
• What thoughts or emotions come to mind because of what I learned?
• Where is the author/speaker/teacher/etc claiming their expertise on the matter?
• What connections can I make with what I’ve learned previously?
• What information isn’t mentioned in the text?
• How have I noticed what’s being taught in my own life experiences?

Communication skills

Social butterflies have more experience and more opportunities at communicating than those who stick with themselves. However, experience at communication does not imply mastery at communication. No matter how shy or social one may be, the better at communication one is, the better one will be at getting what he wants, resolving conflict, persuading, influencing, negotiating, relaying information and any other area of life where interacting with others is required.

There are four ways to communicate to someone: by speaking, by listening, by doing, and by writing. Each one can be a powerful vehicle to convey a specific meaning. It could be argued that knowing when it’s best to use each one is a skill in and of itself. Every act of communication needn’t be plotted out, but thoughtful reflection on how effective one’s communication skills are can greatly enrich and enhance any relationship.

For further, in-depth reading on speaking and listening, I suggest the books How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. For doing I suggest The 5 Love Languages( words of affirmation and quality conversations are two of the love languages mentioned, but the other three are more action based) by Gary Chapman, and for writing I recommend the second half of Stephen King’s book On Writing. (Although as a whole, the book is quite enjoyable.)

Managerial skills

This isn’t “McDonald’s putting in schedules” skills. This is about managing oneself. The way I see it, that’s all one really can manage. Each person is a steward over himself in regards to the following areas of life: time, health, and money. And those three things, like it or not, affect everything we do.

• Time- We each have a personal expiration date; some shorter than others. That said, time is the most valuable resource that exists. Therefore, what is done with time has the most important consequences. Time is best used when it is spent with people, entertainment, hobbies and other activities that bring meaning, purpose, utility, lasting happiness, peace and fulfillment. Life’s too short for it to be wasted, and too long for it to be miserable.
• Health- Until science is capable of planting our consciousness into robots, we’re stuck with the body we have. It’s the vehicle for every action we will ever make, and so we need to take care of it. Exercising, eating right, getting enough sleep, meditating don’t just make good Pinterest boards, they’re key to physical, emotional and mental well-being. Emotions like stress, anger, loneliness, sadness, disappointment, etc. are part of the human experience. Though not fun to feel, it’s important to learn how and why these emotions affect us so that we aren’t led down a rabbit hole of bad habits and addictions. I’m not suggesting we bottle them up and never acknowledge them, quite the contrary. We must feel them, and we must learn how to live with them. Personally, I believe spiritual welfare is important as well. I attend church, read sacred scripture and pray to connect me to the High Power that I believe in, God.
• Money- Money can ruin lives and relationships. It can make situations awkward or uncomfortable. But can’t we all relate to Leonardo DiCaprio’s character in The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) when he said, “I’ve been a rich man, and I’ve been poor man. And I choose rich every fucking time”? We may not all be rich, and we may not all become rich, and we may not all want to become rich, but the point is this: there is power in economic security. There is no stress like economic stress. If it’s never been felt, it never needs to be felt. There are plenty of money managing books out there, and many are complicated, trash, and not worth reading. Let me recommend one that is only 90 pages. Money does not have to be difficult to understand (though not easy to implement). This book teaches simple, easy to understand money principles through parable and story. It’s straightforward and takes the intimidation and complexity out of learning how to handle money. It’s called The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason. It costs about $8 on Amazon, and it could be read in one or two sittings. Here’s the breakdown:
• Save no less than 10% every paycheck
• Spend less than what you earn (only spend the other 90%)
• Learn how to invest (make your money earn you money without physically working for money)
• Keep and follow a budget
• Avoid debt
• Give back

Character Development

There are different views on what is virtuous in regards to character. According to a verified, trusted source (Wikipedia), the idea of virtue varied as to who you were in what part of history. To the Romans, virtue centered on manliness; the Egyptians, order and chaos; for the Greeks, it involved fulfilling one’s purpose. It appears that the idea of virtue and character development has been taught as long as civilization has been recorded. I won’t attempt to aggrandize myself on why I’m qualified to teach this subject, but let me humbly submit a list of what I (try to) develop, and why it’s helped me:

• Gratitude — We can’t be blessed with or appreciate more in life unless we are grateful for what we have — and what we have can be taken away from us. If comparison is the thief of joy, gratitude helps bring it back.
• Hard work and Patience — I’ve discovered things generally get better over time with enough hard work and patience. Hard work helps by preoccupying the mind away from worrying. Patience provides the stamina to keep going forward.
• Service — Simply enough, it feels good. In my mind, service is doing something for someone else without wanting them to return the favor. It can be as simple as taking time to see a friend, cleaning the dishes for a roommate, or holding the door open for someone. Little acts added up over time lead to a life of fulfillment.

The Art of Goal setting

No, not sports-ball. Like I said earlier, we all want something in life. Those wants will stay wants if we don’t know how to get there. It’s easy to dream, and it’s fun to dream big, but it’s disappointing when we don’t see that dream to fruition. It can also be very demotivating if we don’t know how to get started. I don’t consider myself an expert at anything, but I’d say I’m pretty good at knowing how to make and achieve goals (despite quitting a lot of them). I’ve found there are four pillars to goal setting:

1. Start small. For those unaccustomed to making and achieving goals, I recommend doing the smallest thing that can be thought of (that one is willing to do) to get towards that goal.
2. Hoard time to plan. Then hoard time to do the goal. Unless it’s on paper, it won’t happen. Plans should consist of specific things to do to get to a specific goal (preferably by a specific deadline). I’ve heard it said that “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” No matter how good a plan is, it’s useless unless it’s used.
3. Evaluate regularly and frequently. What went well? Give congratulations, then keep going. What didn’t happen? How come? Evaluate and adapt.
4. Fail. It’s going to happen. It’s probably going to happen a lot. It’s supposed to happen. So let it happen. Good things take time, so be patient. There’s a saying in the movie business: those left working are those that are still standing. So keep at it, and everything is going to be fine.

There it is, my take on what’s most important to learn in life. What do you think is most important to learn? Leave a comment and get the discussion brewing!

-Elijah